10,000 Bullets   Exploring the world of Cinema from the Arthouse to the Grindhouse™

Vamp Vixens 
Written by: on June 7th, 2010

Release Date:
USA, 2010
Director: Sean Brookland
Writer: Sean Brookland
Cast: Luna Moon, Lilith V. Eve, Rachael Reckless, Micah Moore, Blair Couvillion, oh come on these aren’t even real names!

DVD released: May 4th, 2010
Approximate running time: 75 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Rating: NR
Sound: Dolby Digital Stereo English
Subtitles: N/A
DVD Release: Brookland Bros. Entertainment
Region Coding: Region 1 NTSC
Retail Price: $24.95

Vamp Vixen Luna Moon saunters down the stairs of a poorly lit warehouse and mumbles through her false gnashers something or other about how much vampires enjoy a spot of rumpy pumpy of a night. Cue a soft-core portmanteau of tales involving the undead getting busy. Well I say tales, really there is no plot, or discernible storyline other than Luna’s occasional tendency to pop up between vignettes and try to keep the viewer awake and interested.

OK so one look at the cover told me I wasn’t in for a gripping storyline but I must say I wasn’t expecting 75 minutes of dialogue free bumping and grinding by a motley assortment of befanged, heavily tattooed and pierced, ripped fishnetted skanks and their bodybuilder beaus. It’s a mystery to me just who this product is aimed at or supposed to appeal to? Simulated vamp-sex fetishists? That’s a hell of a niche market! Is it from late night TV perhaps?  That’s probably where it should be anyway so some pimply teenage boy that hasn’t discovered the internet yet can learn about the facts of (un)life. If you’re thinking of buying this I can only pray that you stop by this review first so you know what you’re getting into and if you go ahead and buy it anyway good luck to you and please consult a psychiatrist at your earliest convenience.

The DVD:

Anamorphic transfer looks fine despite the lighting departments attempts to make it look bloody awful. Same goes for the audio, for what it’s worth you can hear every moan and groan of the ‘dialogue’ and every note of the generic soundtrack perfectly.

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