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Hardbodies – Mill Creek (BluRay) 
Written by: on March 21st, 2016


Theatrical Release Date: USA, 1984
Director: Mark Griffiths
Screenplay: Eric Alter, Steve Greene, Mark Griffiths
Cast: Grant Cramer, Teal Roberts, Gary Wood, Michael Rapport, Sorrells Pickard, Roberta Collins, Cindy Silver, Courtney Gains

BluRay released: March 15th, 2016
Approximate running times: 87 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1 Widescreen / 1080 Progressive / MPEG-4 AVC
Rating: R
Sound: Dolby Digital Stereo English
Subtitles: N/A
BluRay Release: Mill Creek
Region Coding: Region A
Retail Price: $9.98


Synopsis: Three wealthy businessmen while on vacation in California are conned into renting a beach house by a local stud named Scotty, who convinces them that with his help he can gets the old guys laid by the finest girls on the beach.

There are two kinds’ of teen movies that emerged during the 1980’s ones that were edgy yet never vulgar like the John Hughes films Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and then their where the films that where downright raunchy and focused heavily on sex like Porky’s and Hardbodies. The later film Hardbodies was directed by Mark Griffiths a relatively new comer who had only one film under his belt before directing Hardbodies.

Visually the film does offer plenty of eye candy. Where the film really shines the most is its screenplay which was also co-written by Griffiths. The film is filled with many great one liners like when one of the old dudes named Hunter asks a hot chick is she wants to do something and she replies “I don’t fuck fossils for free”. The various situations that unfold as the story progresses like a scene a character named Rounder pretends to be a fashion photographer and takes pictures of various beauties who are more then willing to take things to the next level as they undress to impress him. this scenes great payoff isn’t the willingness of these sexy ladies but the fact that Rounder’s camera stills has it’s lens cover on and none of the girls notice this or the fact that he never reloads his film.

Surprisingly all the male characters except for Hunter don’t come off as perverts and one is able to feel some sympathy for most of them. Hunter it the King of leaches as he uses everyone he comes in contacts with and when he is done with them he then discards them. Look out for the all girl metal group Vixen who are essentially playing themselves in this film only they have a retarded band name “Diaper rash”. The music they play in the film show’s signs of what was to come from these ladies with tracks like Computer Madness and Give it a Chance being prominently played through out the film.

The acting is this one is nothing spectacular still it more then gets the job done with the films two main characters Scotty and Rag who are played by Grant Cramer and Courtney Gains giving performances that often exceed this films less then stellar aspirations. Actor Grant Cramer who has kept busy since making Hardbodies appearing films like Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Cramer gives the performance of his career as Scotty Palmer and in the years since Hardbodies he has failed to capture so brilliantly the essence of any character he has since played. In the 1980’s no one played the sidekick better then Courtney Gains as the character named Rag. Other stand out performances from Courtney Gains which include his work in such films like Children of the Corn, Colors and Can’t Buy Me Love. Courtney Gains is hilarious as Rag who is blessed with skill of flipping someone in forty five different languages’. Ultimately what makes Hardbodies so damn enjoyable is that it never pretends to anything more than what it is a irreverent comedy with an ample amount of T&A.

The BluRay:

Hardbodies is being released by Mill Creek under the title Spring Break Double Feature and the other film included as part of this release is Private Resort. Both film’s come on a 50 GB dual layer BluRay and both films are is presented in a 1080 progressive widescreen.

This is the fourth format (Laserdisc, VHS, DVD and now Blu-Ray) that I have owned Hard Bodies on and though this is presentation that leaves room for improvement. When compared to those other versions I have owned, this releases transfer is by far and away the best I have ever seen this film look.

Hard Bodies comes with one audio option, a Dolby Digital stereo mix in English. Dialog comes through clearly, everything sounds balanced and outside of the film’s score which sounds robust, range wise things tend to sound rather limited. Also it should be noted that that the lack of a lossless audio track disappointing.

The audio / video presentation for Private Resort is on par with Hard Bodies. Both films have moments where colors could have looked more vibrant and there is room for improvements in regards to image clarity.

Besides the aforementioned second feature film Private Resort. This release comes with no other / extra content.

Sadly, to date no release has ever come with any extra content regarding the “Making of” the film. Fortunately for those wanting some background information about the film and its director can check out our 10kbullets interview with director Mark Griffiths.

Overall two highly entertaining raunchy comedies make their way to Blu-Ray via a more than affordable release from Mill Creek.


Private Resort

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