Written by: Giuseppe Rijitano on April 7th, 2017
Theatrical Release Date: France, September 26th, 1977
Director: Patrice Rhomm
Writers: Victor Hadria (concept), Marius Lesoeur & Patrice Rhomm (adaptation & dialogue)
Cast: Malisa Longo, Olivier Mathot, Patrizia Gori
DVD released: April 17th, 2017
Approximate running time: 80 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Rating: 18 (UK)
Sound: Dolby Digital Mono French
DVD Release: Maison Rouge
Region Coding: Region 2 PAL (UK)
Retail Price: £12.99 (UK)
Synopsis: A promising young Nazi officer has an ingenious plan about how to root out some of the disloyal members of the party, der Fuhrer likes it but he’s got someone else in mind to spearhead the operation so it’s out the back, bullet in the head for the idea’s man! That’s right bat-scheisse crazy Adolf is sending in his favorite hooker Elsa (Malisa Longo) and promoting her to the rank of colonel! Much to the chagrin of Frantz, her steady customer and disillusioned high ranking hard drinking member of the Reich. Great insults bandied about here; Frantz calls Elsa “a sluttish pimp!” but she calms him down by pulling on her thigh-highs and ordering him to “lick my boots” which he does at length.
The operation, it turns out, is a traveling bordello train, fully stocked with booze, German totty and state of the art bugging equipment to spy on the drunken officers and catch out the traitors. All seems to be going well on the Deutschland Pussy Wagon Express for a while with an execution at every stop and Elsa getting crazier and hornier by the day (Elsa’s lovemaking technique surely an inspiration for Elizabeth Berkley’s epileptic fit style of shagging in Showgirls). That is until Frantz drops in and has another big blowout with his ex-mistress – “The memory of our filthy love sessions makes me sick!”
Drowning his sorrows and having combat flashbacks – “one month in hell cowering among prostate bodies” (yeah I think he meant prostrate as well but would you correct him?) – he bumps into one of Helga’s other girls, Lisalotte and falls in love! Jealous Elsa makes Frantz listen as Lisalotte does another client – “He must be great, she’s cumming like crazy!” Frantz confronts Lisalotte who explains she loves only him and is in fact a spy working for the freedom fighters, oh and would you mind going on a dangerous mission for me? Cue a final reel surge of tepid action involving torture, whipping and lots of running around.
Yes this is the low end of low budget 70’s nazisploitation, a remake of a remake. BUT it’s just so trashy and ridiculously fun how can you not love it. I can see how jaded exploitation fans may find this one somewhat tedious but clocking in at just 80 minutes I wasn’t bored once! The dialogue really is, to use a cliche, so bad it’s good. The action scenes anemic but all the more comical for it and the use of stock footage has to be seen to be believed, particularly the explosive finale. Less exploitative than the most well known entries in this sub-genre but still worth a look IMHO.
Note: There is no way to comment on how this film looks and sounds, since the screen provided for this review was a streaming version via an online link.
The extras that are supposed to be on the DVD release are trailers for Bare Breasted Countess, Helga, She Wolf of Stilberg and Elsa Fraulein SS.