I’ll get it out of the way quickly – this film is absolutely, mind-numbingly dreadful, terrible beyond belief, just awful. You can move onto another review now without needing to read further, lucky you!

Directed by Joseph Conti, visual effects artist on such films as Men In Black and TV shows such as Xena & Hercules. This is his first time directing and I’m assuming he got the gig because he could deliver some cheap-ass CG shots of skeletons on a budget. The acting is uniformly crap in that deadpan bad-acting way that means we don’t even get to enjoy some unintentional laughs along the way. Our main protagonist is a low-rent Chris Pine lookalike with even less charisma, if that’s possible, and he’s the best of the fetid bunch here. The story is drawn out, meandering, inconsequential and just plain dull. The first chunk of the feature is taken up with a who-gives-a-damn love triangle that goes nowhere perhaps in the hopes that when the walking skeletons do turn up we’ll be so relieved we’ll cheer them on but unfortunately the effects are so very, very bad that most of the time the CG skeletons are not on screen with the actors and when they are it’s a pitiful sight. After watching the same CG clip of the same skeletons for the fifth time (almost like they were cut in from another film) I was getting all misty eyed for the stop motion of Harryhausen (which I’ve never really been a fan of) or hell even Sam Raimi’s Army of Darkness puppets would be better than this. Sadly even the blood was poorly created CG – hey maybe if they’d made the actors CG it might have been a good film!

This is stunningly bad filmmaking, avoid at all costs, you have been warned!

The DVD:

1.85:1 anamorphic transfer looks fine – clear image with vivid colors and good, contrast and solid blacks. The stereo English audio track is clean and clear with the awful generic synth soundtrack balanced well with the dialog and ambient soundtrack.